Broken Flowers

see url 4 years ago One Woman's Perspective

Last week I expressed my sincere belief in marriage and the idea that a relationship can be great and fulfilling. I also made mention that when you pass the novelty of the relationship/marriage you will have to make sacrifices and put in the work in order to sustain a healthy union. Sadly, not all of us are prepared to put in that work and not all of us are strong enough to handle the other traits that are exposed from your spouse later on in the relationship – so down the road we end up in a situation that will no doubt lead to separation or divorce.

With Belize being the small society that it is, it is indeed difficult to maintain a high level of privacy in our personal lives. Sincere confidants are very few and the ones who make themselves out to be such will at some point advertise your personal affairs to another and so it goes – your name is then plastered in other people’s homes, workplaces and vehicles.
Earlier this week I was genuinely disturbed at how one local television station chose to make it a part of their newscast, the start of divorce proceedings for Belize City Mayor and her husband. Their justification when the husband questioned their reason to broadcast such a story was that their marriage made the news and so it’s only right that they do a similar coverage for their divorce. Less than twelve hours after that newscast aired the text messages began circulating around the city and perhaps even the country making this couple’s private business a laughing stock.

While I am not a fan of the Mayor and hold her in no high regard, I do have an issue with our local journalist being so insensitive to a couple’s situation. It cannot be an easy task for Ms. Moya to be coping with the fact that her husband has left her and as a first time mother and wife I am pretty sure that she is feeling what any other woman would feel and that is disappointment and devastation. Her high position in politics does not exempt her from being a human being and it surely does not exempt her from having the very same emotions any woman would have knowing that a marriage she hoped would have worked out has now slipped through her fingers. So why make it a public heartbreak for her and by extension her husband?
I have listened to various opinions, comments and what I can call straight gossip about this couple’s lives and I find it very unpleasant and distasteful how Belizeans tend to gloat at other people’s losses and misfortunes. Very few people are in-tuned to what really transpired in this couple’s bedroom and home and very few are aware of the problems they were facing with each other and it is because of this I beg the question, ‘why talk about it? Why cast aspersions?’ I have been hearing so many stories from people all over and have been reading Facebook comments calling the spouse names and accusing him of promiscuity and such…while that may or may not be true, how is it anyone’s business?

Outside being the famous DJ and the Mayor, these two people are going through some major adjustments in their lives and are doing their best to keep it together for the sake of their son and their sanity. We as Belizeans need to be more considerate as women and men who have gone and may someday go through the very emotions this couple is facing now. If you have read my previous articles on marriages and cheating, you will know what my position is on men cheating and women’s insecurities. You will also know that I am very understanding of wives who find themselves going through betrayals in their marriages. In this particular situation I would like to appeal to the Belizean public to stop carrying gossip about people and their personal lives – your tongue is a very powerful weapon and in cases like this one – nothing good can ever come from your gossips and lies. If you don’t know for sure then say you don’t know or say nothing at all and if you are one of those who are privy to what transpired between this couple – then keep it to yourself, obviously someone trusted and confided in you so why be deceitful?

It is truly sad when lies are spread and aspersions are cast upon you with no basis or reasoning. I have had several persons that I have confided in over the years and it was nothing short of heartbreaking when I heard the very same things I trusted them with came out with many twists to the story. I have had to endure many arguments in my past relationship because of the lies and gossip people would tell my spouse either because they envied me, disliked me or was just idle minded. Whatever the case may be – let us cease from being a judgmental society – we all have our burdens to bear – why not carry them gracefully and whenever we can help those who are heavy burdened and always remember – NEVER DEPRIVE ANYONE OF HOPE – IT JUST MAY BE ALL THAT THEY HAVE LEFT!!!